Unprepared

Ahhh, where do I begin? It is not just me, my whole world is unprepared. I am stuck in my hotel room on a Thursday afternoon after finishing up my interview at Swedish Medical Center. Not stuck because i am a sissy about snow, but because the whole city of Seattle literally shuts down in the rare occasion that it snows and there is nothing to do!! I am in this beautiful city with fun places to go and see but the weather has cut me off from all of it. Even the restaurant where i am staying (and planned to eat dinner) has closed early due to the weather.

In addition to my restlessness i am cold and personally unprepared. After my trauma from my 100lb luggage on my last trip i packed super light this time. Too light. I packed my suit but forgot to pack clothes to wear after my interviews. I left my boots at home which would have been very useful in all this snow. I don't even have a warm hoodie to hang out in and i spilt coffee on my sweater that i flew here in (the warmest thing i brought) and now i can't wear it.

So wish me luck when my hunger drives me back outside to search for food. At least i have a coat, scarf, and gloves, even if i have nothing to wear underneath!!

My second home, the airport

It is 8:34am and I am sitting in the airport in Albuquerque, NM. I am on my way to Seattle but of course have to change planes to get there and I have a 2 hour layover.

I must say that I love the fact that most airports these days have wireless internet. I honestly don't mind layovers because they give me a chance to pee in a real bathroom, get some food, and get some space. I was resisting this trip all day yesterday and therefore feel a little unprepared because i sat on the couch last night instead of getting ready. In my resistance I also decided that I would go to the airport at 6am for my 6:55 flight.

Normally this would not be such a bad idea, the Tucson airport is pretty quiet and i have always gotten through in 10-20 minutes. Today however i walked in to find a HUGE line for Southwest as they had 5 flights leaving within the same hour. I started to get nervous but i soon realized that everyone else in line had not planned for this either and people with flights at 6:30 were just arriving. Needless to say, Southwest had quite a bunch of people to deal with and we got filtered this way and that and they had to delay flights but I we all made it to our respective flights just fine (i least everyone around me did!)

Now i know that even if I don't plan enough time, most likely I won't miss my flight. Not a great rule to live by, but when you are traveling as much as I am lately, it is nice knowledge to have in the back of your head :)

Pics from Cannon Beach in Portland

I survived!!

Well I am back and recovered from my two week interview trail, just in time to leave again tomorrow! I have been all over and I learned a lot of things along the way. To be honest the hardest things were not the interviews, those were actually fun. It was not really the transportation either which i kinda expected to be tough. I never got lost cruising around New England or had a taxi come late. What was hard you ask? Carrying my luggage!! Yes, hauling around 103.1 (i weighed all my bags at the airport just to see) was terrible, and no i did not over pack! I wore everything i brought, sometimes two or three times! When I finally got to Phoenix, my last place to carry everything at once, they gave me the car the farthest away in the lot and I almost cried.

I did learn some things along the way that I might never have had the opportunity to learn or do again. I learned to eat alone in a restaurant without feeling uncomfortable. I learned how to enjoy art, scenery, and discovery by myself. I have mastered how to pack a suitcase that weighs exactly 49.8lbs (no charge under 50lbs!). I have become quite confident navigating my way around completely unfamiliar places, i might even venture to say i have developed a sense of direction. I have changed planes in airports across the US which is not really a big deal until you get to Detroit where it is necessary to go outside, take a shuttle to another terminal, go through security again, then take an escalator to a tram to go to another part of the terminal, then up an escalator... you get the picture. Anyway, I think that i have returned from this trip a more world smart and confident person.

The most important thing that happened during this trip is that after answering the question "why surgery"? about a dozen times, I am absolutely sure that surgery is what i want to do. Most people close to me know that it was a rough decision for me to make but I answered this question over and over with conviction and honestly for why I think surgery is the best career for me. Just a warning though, if anyone outside of an interviewer asks me though they are likely to get hit :)

Chris and I went over the program i have been to so far and made a rough ranking list which we will fit the remaining programs into as i finish the process. Please wish us luck in making wise decisions.

First stop on the interview trail

So, where to begin? This has been a very enjoyable but very crazy week in Portland. I flew in on Friday and we have been running ever since. My wonderful aunt and uncle have taken me all over Portland, showing me cute shops downtown, specialty stores, delicious restaurants, and we even took a trip to the coast today. The weather has been fantastic, not too cold, very little misting, and i even saw the sun today.

Hidden in all of our fun was a very chill interview at Oregon Health and Science Center. The people there were very nice, very happy, and not intimidating in the least. Overall, i thought that it went very well.

It has been very nice to be with family and have someone to show me around. My cousins are quite entertaining and have not stopped talking since i got here. We (well i did at least) had a great time decorating the house for Christmas which was nice because i probably won't have a chance to do that at my house this year. From the many unique animals to the very rambunctious children, it has been an eventful week.

This morning I received an exciting but complicating call. I finally heard from Brown University but instead of asking me to come on Dec 8th like i had hoped, they invited me to come on Dec. 5. This is causing me to have to change all of my travel plans for the next week from flights to transportation, to hotels. Hopefully it is as wonderful as i imagine and well worth the trouble.

I haven't even started and I am already tired...

This last week went by quickly with no big occurrences. I have been checking my email twenty times a day and making travel plans every night. I am exhausted from trying to coordinate flights, rental cars, hotels, etc. My excitement to visit programs is starting to be overshadowed by the stress and hassle of the whole thing. Nevertheless, I will be flying to Ontario, CA this Thursday for my first interview (Loma Linda) this Friday. Wish me luck.

New Interview List... (up to 12 now but STILL waiting on the big guns..)

Flight: Nov 20 to Ontario, CA
Interview: Nov 21, Loma Linda University

Flight: Nov 28 to Portland, OR
Interview: Dec 1, Oregon Health and Science

Flight: Dec 3 to Dever, CO
Interview: Dec 4, St. Joseph's Exempla Kaiser Hospital

Flight: Dec 5 to Hartford, CT
Interview: Dec 6, University of Connecticut

Flight: TBA
Interview: Dec 10, University of Michigan, Grand Rapids

Flight: TBA to Phoenix, AZ
Interview: Dec 11, Good Samaritan (maybe)
Interview: Dec 12, Mayo Clinic, Scottsdale

Flight: Dec 17 to Seattle, WA
Interview: Dec 18, Swedish Medical Center
Interview: Dec 19, Virginia Mason Medical Center

Flight: Jan 6 to Salt Lake City, UT
Interview: Jan 7, University of Utah

Flight: TBA to Las Vegas, NV
Interview: Jan 16, University of Nevada

Flight: TBA
Interview: Jan 24, University of Washington

Another Year Older

Well, I am now 28. I still have not figured out how i feel about 28 yet. I remember last year being very upset about 27, very resistant, and feeling very old. This year i just feel resigned. It was a quiet birthday with no big party, no drunkeness or dancing, no dressing up and no limos. it was a good day though. Chris and i went up to north Tucson to La Encantata, one of my favorite places to walk around. We roamed Crate and Barrel, Williams Sanoma, Potter Barn, and other fun stores. We had espresso and pumpkin cheesecake at AJ's and ate a wonderful lamb dinner after a wine and cheese board appetizer. If you can believe it, after having desert first we decided that we should have desert after too dinner too and headed to the new gellato shop for italian ice cream!! Needless to say we both have been running extra the last two days but it was well worth it.

As i had hoped, more interviews have been coming in this week already. I am about to give up on the big places like Brown, Vanderbilt, and UNC, but i am very pleased with the places i have so far. I will update the list again as soon as i get date confirmations from a couple more spots. Sadly, as the interviews rack up so does the credit card balance so this week i am praying for a lottery win :) Feel free to join me or donate to the dawn interview fund.

Oh, PS i was going to add some pictures but everytime i try my computer wigs out so for now it is news only, sorry

Update on the Interview Trail

The final step in my residency application process is complete. My official Dean's Letter, which is a narrative of my life in medical school, has been released (national release date Nov. 1). This was the last piece to my application and the part many programs wait to read before offering interviews. I am hoping in the next couple of weeks my interview numbers will go from the 6 i have now to many more (i applied to a total of 20 surgical programs). I wanted to make a cool map and show how i will be jetting from city to city but i am not computer talented enough to make that happen so i am just listing my interview dates and flights here as they come. So far i have...

Flight: Nov 28 to Portland, OR
Interview: Dec 1, Oregon Health and Science

Flight: Dec 3 to Dever, CO
Interview: Dec 4, St. Joseph's Exempla Kaiser Hospital

Flight: Dec 5 to Hartford, CT
Interview: Dec 6, University of Connecticut

Flight: TBA
Interview: Dec 10, University of Michigan, Grand Rapids

Flight: Dec 11 to Phoenix, AZ
Interview: Dec 12, Mayo Clinic, Scottsdale

Flight: Jan 6 to Salt Lake City, UT
Interview: Jan 7, University of Utah

Happy to be Home and Kudos to the Parents

I am back home. Back in my bed, cooking in my kitchen, watching my TV, and hanging out with my family. It is so nice. I think that it is so easy to take all of your own personal comforts for granted. I am so settled in my own world. I did have to get my house back in order over the week/weekend. Chris tries to keep everything clean bless his heart but my level of clean is so different! Honestly all week i could barely look at the house because i would be cleaning constantly. The sink is not washed out, there is a spot on the floor, there is dog hair on the carpet, etc. These are all normal things i am sure but for an insane person like me they are huge defects in my perfect house. I spent many hours this weekend dusting, sweeping, moping, de-cluttering, and now i can look around an be content. I still have a few projects to get to but mostly my house is back to normal, or a least my normal. I used to curse my mother for making me this maniac clean freak, but over the weekend i was actually realizing how thankful i am that i was raised to be so clean and diligent. My parents raised me to never be lazy, procrastinate, or let things go. Lists are made and checked off, if something needs done, you do it, and cleanliness is next to godliness. None of these things are qualities to be sad about having. Now if only they had taught me not to like chocolate......

Life Update, I'm Going Home!!!!!

I work with great people, I live with fun girls, and I am living in a nice city but... I miss my husband and my dog and my friends, and my school, and..l anyway you get the picture.

Last week in finally got in touch with someone in the Medicine department here and discussed with them whether or not to complete the Medicine SubI i am scheduled for next month now that I am doing surgery. Together we decided that it would not benefit either of us and they kindly allowed me to drop the rotation.

Then i was stuck. Do i do another surgery rotation here and really convince them i would be the best resident ever, or do i go home? Well, after talking with multiple people in the program, i decided to go home. I think that i have done a good job here and two months might be overkill and did i mention that i miss my husband, dog, friends...

Anyway, I will be driving back to Tucson this weekend. My only problem is that I set up to rent my room for two months and now I am leaving. My roommate has already posted my room on craigslist but as far as i know there have not been any takers yet. I would like to ask everyone who reads this blog to pray to whoever it is that you pray to that someone will rent my room because while i did not sign a lease i am too nice of a person to leave my roomie broke like that and I really don't want to pay rent for a room i won't be using. Thanks for your positive thoughts.

oh, and Chris started his new job at Wells Fargo today, yea for no more living on commission!!

Lessons Learned

In the last couple of weeks i have learned many little lessons of patience and choices. While I really like Utah, there are a few things that drive me nutty. First, the stoplights. Every morning (well almost) I sit at at least 5-6 red lights in a row. i stop, go 10 feet, stop again, wait, go 10 feet, stop again, etc. One morning i got so frustrated (remember i go to work at 3:30am so i am the only car on the road) so i decided to take a different route. Bad choice, i ended up running into construction, going in a big circle and ending up pretty much where i started 15 minutes later. Patience learned? yes. later in the week i was cleaning my house (as i often do b/c i am a clean freak and i live with two other girls) and i went to take out the trash. When I went to go back inside the door was locked! Little did i know that if the lock is a certain direction it automatically locks itself! of course my phone was inside, my whole life was inside and i was stuck outside. So i did the only thing i knew to do, I ran to stay warm and thankfully one of my roommates came home 45 minutes later. The last of my tales this week is probably my personal saddest. I made the poor decision to let a boy(who looked 16) in a salon on the corner wax my eyebrows. Again, bad choice, i now have two short, thin lines of hair above my eyes that used to be my eyebrows.

Despite all of these unfortunate occurrences, I had a pretty good week. I worked on the general surgery service, I shopped at a great outdoor mall and found a very nice suit for interviews. I discovered Cold Stone flavored jelly bellys, I have learned to love my long walks to and from work, and I even had time to catch a movie.

P.S. I must apologize for all of the whining that occurred last week. Apparently I experienced an unusual short-lived cold-front that by Tuesday had passed. I am now living in what many of you told me I should be enjoying, the Fall. The leaves have suddenly changed to beautiful yellow, oranges, reds, and browns and are fluttering in the breeze outside. The early morning and late evenings are chilly but during the day it is all sunshine. It is really quite pleasant.

It's Colder!!!

Ok, i know i am still whinning but now it is snowing i am so not ready. I keep telling myself that it is beautiful and and I should enjoy it but really i am just cold. It is not just cold rain or sleet snow either. It is big fluffy pieces of snow, snowing. Again pretty, but such a hassle. And for all my resisting yesterday, i went back to the store today and bought a heated mattress pad because i froze all night last night (ps air-mattresses are NOT warm). After the store i headed over to my new coffee shop spot and hauled all my books, bags, and computer of the car and through the snow only to find that it was closed! so sad. So then i started driving to a different coffee shop and the snow kept getting thicker and thicker and i began thinking, "should i just go home? are the roads going to get bad? should i give up? if i do is that being scared and weak or would it be smart? is God trying to tell me i should not be out today?" All this is running through my head as i keep turning toward the coffee shop then back toward home alternatly. I ended up going back to my house and i am still not sure if that was a smart choice or an intimidated by the weather choice but either way i am alive (but still cold...)

It's Cold

The sky is gray, it is cold, really cold, and every morning i have to walk what seems like miles from my parking spot to the hospital. Yesterday i was sure that i would freeze to death before i reached the building, that i would never be able to suture because i would never feel my fingers again, and that while everyone tells me it is fall i think utah skipped fall and this is winter. I do love it here but my fear of sliding down an icy hill on my way to work overwhelms me. I know, i am a big ninny, but i am an arizonan!!! Even worse is the fact that the furnace in my home is broken and even when i go inside i am still freezing :( Thankfully it is soon to be fixed.

On the happy side, I ventured outside my little downtown area and drove to Union Fork to visit the super target (very cool) and buy some warm jersey sheets(I fought the urge to buy every blanket i saw). I have an excellent reason to drink more coffee and hot chocolate and was able to easily resist the ice cream aisle.

Otherwise nothing big happened to me this week. I did go out with my roomies last night for the first time and must say the boys here need some help on their girl skills (not that i am responsive anyway but come on..) One told me i was pretty EVEN THOUGH i wear glasses and another asked how i can be a surgeon if i am left handed. Both received my best dirty looks. Stay tuned for more Utah maddness...

Breast Cancer

Many of you know that i am doing a surgical rotation in breast disease this month. In the last four days i have seen more breast cancer then i ever before and i feel compelled to write about it. Breast cancer is a terrible, tragic, life changing disease and this week i have learned that it truly can happen to anyone. Of the patients i saw this week, three were in their twenties, all were otherwise perfectly healthy women, and few actually have a family history of breast cancer (or any cancer). Many had been diagnosed based on their yearly mammogram, not from symptoms or feeling a lump. Yesterday i had a patient who felt a lump in her breast over a year ago. She bought herbal medicine online and never sought medical treatment. She now has a VERY large tumor that has eaten away her breast and metastasized to her liver. I have also seen patients who felt a lump but waited to go the doctor thinking that it was probably nothing. I am writing about all of this because i cannot let this happen to my friends and/or family. There is no certain type of woman that gets breast cancer, anyone can get breast cancer. So tonight i am using my blog for my current soapbox. No matter how old/young you are, if you feel or see something in your breast, get it checked out, soon. If you are over 50, get your yearly mammogram, it could save your life. I am not just saying this because i am in medical school. I am saying this because i have had the crap scared out of me and every preconceived notion stripped from me this week.
Don't let your busy life, aversion to medicine, or fear of results keep you from seeing a doctor or getting a mammogram. As terrible as it is, breast cancer can happen to you.
PS as bad as it sounds, i am loving working with these amazing women who are fighting their disease

Livin' in Utah

Well, here i am, a resident of Salt Lake City for the next two months. I live with two girls in a cute little house (currently i live in the living room but will have my own room on the first) in west salt lake. They are very chill and fun to chat with. My neighborhood is kinda ghetto but I am close to the hospital which is nice. Utah is beautiful and the hospital is really a huge complex of newly built buildings at the base of the mountains. I work with a great woman surgeon who loves her job and has made it her goal to make me into a surgeon too. Today was my first day and all went well. I would also like to celebrate the fact that i have yet to get lost in my new town or hospital which makes me oh so proud and happy (turning the wrong way does not count if you realize it and find your way back, right?). So far Utah has been great for shopping and exploring too. I went to Park City with my sister-in-law and yesterday grocery shopped at a Smiths that was two stories and had an escalator! That is all for my life right now. Sorry i never filled everyone in on my PICU experience but i lost my writing moment and have moved on....

The Sheba Scream

So I have had a long and somewhat sad three weeks (see blog later) and since yesterday was my last day in the Pediatric ICU, Chris and I bough pizza, wings, an beer, watched our favorite show on DVR and decided to stay up late and sleep in this morning. The plan was going well and I was happily snuggled in my husband arms when we heard the scream.

If you ever read about sheba inu's, it will tell you they have a distinctive "scream". I sat straight up in bed as did Chris when we heard this high pitched, super loud, fairly tragic sounding screaming coming from the backyard. Ichiban had been outside for about two hours and when we found him after grabbing a robe and dashing outside, he was in the corner of the yard screaming like no other. Chris got him to the porch and we put our arms around him and tried to calm him down. We examined his legs, paws, face, body, everything over and over to make sure he was not hurt. I brought him inside while chris looked around the yard for the cause.

My puppy seems ok now, though he is extra snuggly and wants lots of love today. We never found what caused our baby to scream, I think it must have been a snake or scorpion. Anyway, it was quite a way to wake up and needless to say our sleep in morning was lost.

I applied!!!

So this morning I sat on my couch, read and reread my CV, personal statements, personal information, everything in my residency application. Then i went through my program choices for the millionth time, checked the boxes, held my breath, and submitted my residency application. I don't think that I have felt so nervous, serious, and excited about anything in quite some time. Will I get interviews? Where will i end up? and the big question, what will i be? So, i felt like i was running out of time in applying and i did not want to miss out on getting interviews at my top choice programs because i waited too long deciding what to apply to, soooo i applied to both MED-PEDS and SURGERY!! I am hoping by interview time i will have made a decision and will only go to one specialty or the other but you never know. Maybe I will let the match decide for me, rank both in every other spot (ie 1. med-peds, 2.surgery, 3. med-peds, etc). Anyway, hopefully the interviews will start coming in and i will be off all over the U.S. trying to make people like me :). BTW, for those interested my top choices are Salt Lake City, UT, Chapel Hill, NC, and Nashville, TN.

Puppies and Kids

While we did not get Ichiban as a child replacement, when our attempts to make a baby were unsuccessful we still felt the desire to expand our family. Ichi has been great at adding something special and giving Chris and I a new focus. I always thought that people who called their dogs their "babies" or "children" were very silly and somewhat over adoring of their pets. After a fantastic week of dog owning, I am beginning to see how easily the comparison can be made. Our little puppy sleeps most of the day, loves to snuggle, and loves his stuffed animals. He also requires me to get up at least three times a night to take him to go pee, even when it is raining outside. Yes, i have found myself standing in the rain at 3am in my flip-flops and pajamas telling my dog to "go outside" (which means pee already!) . He also is having problems wetting his bed when he is asleep and we have had to wash his bed sheets four times in the last week! As with children though, we love him anyway and can't help but rub his belly and smile. He went to the vet today for his shots and he only yelped a little, for being so good he got to go to the dog park and make some new friends. Such a good puppy :)

So, I have never been a dog person, not really an animal person altogether really. I have to say that I am in love with my dog though. My big house is no longer lonely, I don't have to feel crazy when I am talking to myself, and if i want to run around in the backyard in the rain, i have someone to do it with who is having just as much fun as i am. Just hearing the tinkling of his collar around the house makes me feel content. He comes whenever I call him and is so quick at learning new tricks. He has already made friends with the dog next door so even when Chris and I are not home, he is not lonely either :)

On the other hand, Ichiban is no good at giving advice. I layed on the floor next to him and tried for the millionth time to pick a medicine specialty because i am really running out of time now and he had nothing to offer. Now instead of booking flights to Cincinnati or Salt Lake or taking the plung and changing my whole school schedule from Med-Peds to Surgery, I have spent the whole afternoon making CDs.

This is our new puppy Ichiban (pronounced eecheebon). He is a five month old Shiba Inu which is the smallest of the Japanese Spitz breeds. He has adapted to our family quite quickly and is a super happy dog. He already loves all the toys and the bed we bought him. He slept all night through his first night home (last night) and he and Chris went runny this morning.

The begining

Well, I know that our life is not that interesting but I also know that we do not talk to our friends and family near as much as we want to or should and this might be a good way to communicate with everyone. This year should be a big one for us. I will be traveling all over the US to find a residency (see poll), Chris is beginning his career in finance, and we have just purchased an amazing new puppy (see pics). I know i am not near a funny or creative as my sisters but I hope everyone enjoys reading about our happy times.