Warning, this is a VERY grumpy blog

I am a generally happy person and I do feel that i have many things to be thankful for, however, this week is becoming quite frustrating.

First of all, i can't stop coughing. it is endless, all day and all night and i can't breath and i feel like an old woman who takes twenty pills a day and is still sick.

Second, after fighting with three different doctors in Tucson, all who refused to prescribe me the medicine that i really want, if finally had a doc here in kingman write it for me only to find out my insurance does not cover it and it is $116.00 a month!

Third, legislation recently passed that students now have to pay off there medical school loans during residency and Sallie Mae has officially changed my first payment due date from some time in the far future to 6/2/09!! I won't have even started residency yet!!

On the positive side, i delivered three beautiful healthy babies (by myself) this weekend. I also spent some more quality time with my family. Best of all which may cancel out all of the above bitching, my amazing brother in law recovered all of the info from my previously crashed hard-drive and i now have all of my music back, YEA!!!!!!

PS for all who are interested, Chris and I are having our final residency ranking conversation on Thursday night and I will be certifying my list this weekend. Wish us wisdom!

So i hate to start a blog with excuses but i feel that i must explain my long pause in postings. Once i finished all of my interviews, all i wanted to do was lay on my couch, play with my dog, and not think about anything. After doing nothing for two weeks, i headed to Kingman for my rural health family practice rotation. I really had planned on telling tales of my patients and life back in Kingman but i have been having some very annoying internet problems. Today is the first day that i have been able to play on the net in my own home (kinda) on my own computer so i am back.

As always, Kingman is great and terrible at the same time for me. I love the medicine, my family, and the slow pace of life here. On the other hand, my lungs hate the air here and i am back on a million meds just to breath. Despite my lack of oxygen, i have been enjoying myself. I see sweet elderly patients along with pregnant mommies all day. I have already had the pleasure of babysitting for all of my nieces (not at the same time), had many dinners with family, and have already delivered 3 babies with more to come this weekend.

While i am in Kingman, i am staying in the house the hospital owns with other medical students. There are 7 of us altogether and it is quite a full house. While it is a little like Real World on MTV, we all get along well and it is fun sharing stories and advice at the end of the day.

So close but so far away

These last couple of weeks have been filled with lots of traveling, hard decisions, and uncertainty. For someone who likes to be very planned, organized, and think through her choices, all of my spontaneity of late has left me a little unsettled. While i am glad that i was bold and wrote to the program directors of my top choice programs and the results were very encouraging the last minute changes have been hard. I hope that i am making the right choices.

I really struggled when i had to choose between interviewing at University of Washington or Vanderbilt but when it came down to it, the people at Vanderbilt were so overwhelming nice that i could not say no and i am excited to go there. I will interview at Good Sam in Phoenix on Thursday and fly from Phoenix to Nashville immediately after (and when i say immediately i mean i hope i don't miss my flight!).

Anyway, I am tired, mildly depressed, over traveling, and done spending money but i only have a couple interviews left and i know will make it. I am really looking forward to going home to kingman for a month and getting away from the whole interview scene. In fact, i plan to try to go a whole month without thinking about residency at all!!

Well, that is where i am at in life. I will take all well wishes, prayers, etc for stamina, wisdom, safety, and all other good things.