So close but so far away

These last couple of weeks have been filled with lots of traveling, hard decisions, and uncertainty. For someone who likes to be very planned, organized, and think through her choices, all of my spontaneity of late has left me a little unsettled. While i am glad that i was bold and wrote to the program directors of my top choice programs and the results were very encouraging the last minute changes have been hard. I hope that i am making the right choices.

I really struggled when i had to choose between interviewing at University of Washington or Vanderbilt but when it came down to it, the people at Vanderbilt were so overwhelming nice that i could not say no and i am excited to go there. I will interview at Good Sam in Phoenix on Thursday and fly from Phoenix to Nashville immediately after (and when i say immediately i mean i hope i don't miss my flight!).

Anyway, I am tired, mildly depressed, over traveling, and done spending money but i only have a couple interviews left and i know will make it. I am really looking forward to going home to kingman for a month and getting away from the whole interview scene. In fact, i plan to try to go a whole month without thinking about residency at all!!

Well, that is where i am at in life. I will take all well wishes, prayers, etc for stamina, wisdom, safety, and all other good things.

Taking fate into your own hands

When I went to Utah to interview i forgot to bring a book to read. While i could have bought a book at the airport, I had one I was working on at home and another i wanted to start. I chose to fly to and from with nothing to occupy my time but my thoughts and my ipod. I thought a lot. I thought about all the places I had been to interview and the first through fourth drafts of ranking lists Chris and I had put together. I began to panic as i realized that there were only two places on my list which had both an excellent program and a ideal location! I panicked more when i remembered i only had three places left to go, all locations i have been to (seattle, phoenix, las vegas). By the time Chris picked me up from the airport in Tucson I was really worried. I want a strong top five, not top two!!

Through this whole process I have taken the approach that i would do my best and let fate decide the rest. I accept my rejections, have taken every interview offered to me, and i let my intuition guide me. After my airplane panic and now growing concern i decided to take some initiative. Of my original top choice schools i have only been to two and this was not ok with me.

I took action. I wrote emails to the program directors at the schools that i continue to consider to be top choices and told them i should come interview, that i should get a chance because i will be a great resident and a great surgeon. As a result I am now going to UNC to interview on Friday instead of Las Vegas (although i hope to reschedule). I am proud of myself and while fate is great, knowing what i want and going for it is even better.

Oh My Puppy...

Yesterday as i was happily sleeping in, my husband kissed me good-bye and asked if it would be ok to leave the dog in the house when he left for work. I peeked over the side of the bed and saw my puppy sleeping in his bed and said of course. About ten minutes later, Ichi came over to lick me good morning and let me know he was awake and i made a note to get up soon. A little while later i heard him eating and playing in the living room and thought what a good dog he is.

Then i got up. It was about 20 minutes since he first woke me and as soon as he heard me he ran into the bedroom and gave be a guilty look and i knew something was not good. Warily i put on my glasses and headed out to the living room where i found his handy work.

My camera bag and camera were on the floor sporting chew marks (how he got it out of the bag i don't know, my dog can undo zippers!), there were pieces of plastic everywhere (which i later identified as my memory chip), i found a plastic knob that came out of a still unknown piece of furniture, and worst of all, my paperback of Atlas Shrugged was shredded.

I learned early as a dog owner that you can't get mad at your dog for getting into things because that is what dogs do when you are not paying attention, just like little kids. I yelled anyway. I bumped my dogs nose with my shreded book. Ichi hid his face with his paws and gave me his "sad i am sorry" look.

The story ends with me cleaning up the living room and then taking my dog for a walk. He really is a good dog and i have learned my lesson about sleeping in. I would never let an eight month old baby play alone in the living room while i slept and now never an eightt month old dog either!!

Vacation and Holidays

Ever since i got back from Seattle life has been wonderful. Every morning i sleep in till 8 or 8:30, I get up and drink a few cups of coffee, then i walk my dog in the amazing Arizona sun. I spend the rest my day leisurely doing errands, cleaning my house, working on small projects, and best of all, laying on the couch watching the food network and reading. I have also been cooking my husband the best dinners ever!! I finally have time to spend hours in the kitchen and try all the recipes I have been collecting. (not to mention my wonderful husband gave me a cast iron skillet and a gorgeous ceramic coated cast iron pot for christmas, i love him!)

I could not be a happier girl right now and i wonder how i can be so happy at home and yet so happy with my 80 hour a week real life.

The holidays have been fun. I was going to make a beautiful lamb dinner for Christmas but then we were invited to the Brownstein's for a Jewish Christmas dinner of brisket and potato pancakes. On New Years Eve we went to a party with all of our friends and it was fun (what i remember of it). New Years Day was spent recovering from our big night, doing dress fittings for Rachel's wedding, and assembling her invitations.

My vacation ends on Monday and i leave Tuesday for Utah. I am sad for my quiet time to be over but i know i need to get back to work and finish up these last few interviews.